The Handshake
Written on January 2, 2010 – 7:27 am | by Jill Brown
Contact by shaking hands is important in business !
Meeting for the first time, it’s a form of bonding and building trust.
At many times shaking hands happens at the discretion of individuals
At a first meeting and if I were to meet you in person I would probably want to shake your hand. Would this be appropriate?
Or could I possibly be invading your space or possibly be interrupting your privacy at some time. It does happen. If I were not using proper discretion would I have the right to want to shake your hand and if so, then why would I have the right?
You be the judge!
The handshake is thought to date back to as far as the 2nd century BC. It’s thought to have originated at that time as a gesture of peace and as a gesture demonstrating that the hand is not holding a weapon.
Popular belief is that the handshake became first introduced to the Western world around the 16th century by Sir Walter Raleigh and when he was in service to the British Court.
The handshake then became a ritual and has been ever since and has maintained symbolic value. The handshake is a tradition in many Countries and Communities and is performed on many specific occasions. At times also shaking hands takes place at the discretion of the individuals.
The handshake has many purposes:
- To fulfill a religious obligation
- An act to fulfill emotional needs
- As the strengthening of social bonds
- For social and moral education
- As a demonstration of respect
- As an act of submission
- For personal satisfaction
- Or done just for the pleasure of the ritual itself
A handshake used to convey trust, balance and equality.
People are shaking hands when meeting and greeting, or parting or when they’re offering congratulations.
- When expressing gratitude or when completing an agreement.
- Used in sport or in other competitive activities.
- The handshake is a sign of good sportsmanship.
- It’s also used by teenage boys as a gesture of close friendship.
The handshake is considered an appropriate greeting to convey the purpose of trust, balance and equality.
In many instances it can actually be very important on a first meeting to have an appropriate and meaningful handshake. It’s known that in many situations and at different times we can be assessed by the handshake greeting.
We probably all want to make a good first impression but how many of us are sure that we have an acceptable handshake?
If the handshake is too strong this could signify dominance and could be considered in poor taste. Alternatively if a handshake is too weak this could also reflect very badly on the person’s character.
A weak or a limp handshake is known as a “dead fish” or a “wet fish” handshake. I know someone who is a chronic handshaking initiator. Problem is though puts out a wet fish handshake every time. Some say it’s a sign of a low self esteem.
However, using this type of handshake can cause people to instantly form a negative opinion about you. A first impressions is so important and an unresponsive handshake can be damaging to the character. The effect can leave a bad impression that lasts a lifetime.
What do you do though if you don’t want to shake hands with someone? Generally it is considered inappropriate, if not outright insulting to the initiator side, to reject a handshake without good reason.
What could be considered a good reason for rejecting a handshake?
One reason could be an injured right hand.
6 Responses to “The Handshake”
By Wal Heinrich on Feb 10, 2010 | Reply
I find that sometimes an over-strong handshake can signify a person with low self esteem who is over-compensating.
Wal Heinrich´s last blog ..Genetically Modified Foods – Are They Worth the Risk?
By Jill Brown on Feb 10, 2010 | Reply
That’s interesting Wal because the “dead fish” or “wet fish” handshake is said (in some books) to also signify a person with low self esteem. Thank you for the feedback Wal.
By Cherie Rasmussen on Feb 18, 2010 | Reply
Being female I usually watch for the other person’s body language as to whether or not shake their hand. For business yes I do like to shake hands. In friendship a raised hand for hello, hug or peck on the cheek works for me too.
Great site and looking forward to your future posts.
Cherie Rasmussen´s last blog ..Choosing Affiliate Marketing Programs
By Leigh Aubrey on Mar 16, 2010 | Reply
I make my decision on people by the handshake and whether they can look you in the eye when you speak to you.
I had a boss once ( the owner of a huge Qld coach/bus Company) and he wouldnt employ a man who come to an interview with white shoes on – the one time he did in desperate need of another driver for one of the runs he was proved right. He rolled the coach two days after he empoyed him!!!!
By Jill Brown on May 9, 2010 | Reply
Hi Cherie,
Thank you for the feedback on handshaking. Your way is good, it’s natural and I like it. I had for a long time been exposed to an environment where people run around shaking hands with each other and for no particular reason. Only that they believe that’s the correct thing to do. Because of this I had become rather confused as to what’s the correct way and what is not.
Better late than never with my reply to you….thanks so much.
By Jill Brown on May 9, 2010 | Reply
Hi Leigh,
That’s important, like you say, as to whether someone can look you in the eye when shaking hands with you or speaking to you as well.
The white shoes story is so interesting. I wonder what your x-boss based his logic on. Whatever it was he’s spot-on by the sounds of it.